"Tactless, Yet Rude" (1 pt)

[liadnan]

There's no better way to start a new year than with a dose of unpleasant -for all observers and participants- gastric flu, that's what I always say. Well, no, it isn't what I always say, obvs, but it will be a frequent mantra of mine in years to come, you mark my words. I thought I'd recovered by Tuesday, but dragging myself into work proved to be a horrific mistake by the time of my journey home. Half the rest of the department -hell, half the firm- is ill or away for some other more or less defensible reason anyway.

Since one of the deciding factors in my decision to come in today was the ability of free interweb I'm slightly peeved to discover that (a) forsooth I have forgot my password to HMRC Online Tax Returns, and have been through all the usual variations on the usual themes; and (b) I have also forgot my passcode for online banking. Not the most successful organisation in the world.

I am, as my brother informed me (while rather kindly, given it was before 9AM and he wasn't even up when I rang, driving me back from the airport the Thursday before Christmas) going to be an uncle again. That makes 9 and counting. My siblings are trying to bankrupt me. It's a plot I tell you.

You'll find life jackets under your seats. In the event of a water landing, they will keep you afloat, unless you are seized by a giant squid, and dragged screaming beneath the waves.

Comments

[rparvaaz.livejournal.com]

Sympathies your way. Am still recovering from my flu/whatever and I am getting tired of feeling ill. Sympathies about the incipient bankruptcy too. Nine nieces and nephews can get expensive. The rents have 13 in all and shopping for gifts gets tiring...

[fi.livejournal.com]

Get well soon, and congratulations on the repetitive uncleitude.

[nicnac.livejournal.com]

Ooh nice - I guess you don't even welcome the accompanying weight loss?

Congrats on your multiple unclehood - If I can convert you to the delights of Alpaca babywear, your bankruptcy may yet be my fortune!

[itchyfidget.livejournal.com]

Ugh, commiserations. Feel better soon.

Giant squid = not what you want to see in the event of surviving a water landing in a plane.

[kittenexploring.livejournal.com]

In the long term, if there is a long term, things improve. There you are at the pub when someone is droning on and on about how their plane crashed in the sea and they barely survived and aren't they great. You can then say, "How many giant squid did you have to wrestle with after you crashed? None? Oh, right. Well, it's still an endearing little story."

[itchyfidget.livejournal.com]

That's you, glass of salt water half-full ;)

[liadnan]

Ah, but:
"Thank you for choosing Air Pacific. You have well over a forty percent chance of landing safely. Enjoy your flight!"

No one recognises this, do they?

[itchyfidget.livejournal.com]

I'm guessing it must be Airplane?

[liadnan]

Nah. It's from an Animaniacs episode.

[itchyfidget.livejournal.com]

I've never seen Animaniacs. Though I'm informed that it's a lot of fun.