...London Never Sleeps, It Just Sucks.../The Life Out Of Me...

[liadnan]

As the Welshwoman sang.

With the news that the London Monopoly board is to be updated, This Isn't London speculates on possible new cards and pieces.

Am particularly fond of:

You buy the Evening Standard. Do not pass page 3 as you throw it down in disgust at some story with zero news content about a dim model of whom you have never heard. Do not collect tokens, fail to win luxury flat.

Make general repairs to your railway stations. It should be pointed out that you should have done this 21 months ago, before the tragic derailment. Do not, for some reason, go to jail.

Interest rates fall to historic low. The price of those little green houses will now increase 20% each turn forever. The increasing price of the little green houses must now be the only topic of conversation around the board. Sell your soul to the player being 'bank'

Incidentally, it was reported a few days ago (can't find the link right now) that Estelle Morris wants the cultural centre of the country to move away from London.

Where to? Please support your answers with reference to (a) national population distribution and density; (b) the national transport network; (c) proportion of the population of the country able to visit for the day and/or evening and return home before 3AM; (d) net contribution to HM Treasury.

Comments

[ex-ajhalluk585.livejournal.com]

Manchester

1) has significant portion of national population. Said population considerably less dense than the average (as proved by actual test; 21% have higher education qualifications compared to 15.7% across the nation)

2) Britain's favourite airport, four motorways, railway lines (Virgin, but then no-one's perfect) coach stops etc. Ferry in Liverpool - some way away but closer to Manchester than Harwich or Dover is to London

3) We're open at 3.00am. Every night. Therefore the need to leave diminishes.

4) Net contribution to HM Treasury: the proceeds, over the years, of inventing the activated sludge process of treating sewage (those dead of cholera do not, on the whole, pay taxes). Of identifying the atomic theory. Of postulating the way gases dissolved in liquids behave (and could we have our royalties please, Coca-Cola Company of Atlanta?) Of splitting the atom. Of producing the world's first computer. Of pioneering the world's first passenger railway service. Of the products which Joule and Roget gave to the world. Of beer and cotton. Of colour cheistry. Of the Lancaster Bomber (a reason why our taxes might be paid to HM Treasury rather than to the Reich, and in marks...Of Alan Turing, a further reason for the foregoing.

Oh culture? You mean Halle and all those. Sorry.

[liadnan]

Not bad...

Actually Manchester, or possibly Birmingham, are the obvious choices. Not Liverpool, I think, too much on the geographical/transport edge, a terminus rather than a nexus. Leeds?

I do feel though, that sometimes our beloved government forget that 10% of the country live here in London, another couple of million are here every day, at a guess (and I grant this is purely a guess) something like 25-30% of the entire 60millionish population are reasonably close, and god knows how many tourists pour through here every year. On the other hand, while much is said about moving things away from London, little ever changes.

I get more genuinely angry about the way the public transport situation of London slides gradually towards disaster and central government is, in my view, not doing enough. To get it mended we're going to hsave the sodding Olympics, and I know I'm not the only Londonder who actually isn't entirely convinced that is, in itself, a good idea.

I would also like to see a serious strategy about getting people, particularly at the wealthier end of the spectrum, to move themselves and their businesses away from London and the South East altogether, and tend to think that should come first. (And yes, I will go one day. But probably west rather than north)

I am being somewhat unfair to Morris. Her quote was a throwaway at the end of a speech about Lonodn-based national institutions (ie presumably BM, Tate, NG, NPG, V&A) lending things out. Which I happily agree with in principle (subject to someone thinking about insurance, security, transport, and not using wild numbers about millions of non-displayed items in the BM without granting that half of them are interesting only to scholars but I digress).

Manchester is, of course, hardly a cultural desert. (And no I wasn't accusing the rest of the country of being dense in the mental sense, if anyone else was wondering. Except East Anglia obvs. (Don't ask, I have irrational personal animosity about East Anglia)

[coughingbear]

I might take some of the politicians' remarks about moving people/ institutions out of London more seriously if they ever talked about taking the House of Commons anywhere else (please), or showed much awareness of what's already happening/available elsewhere. They have admittedly moved some government jobs away - my parents went to Yorkshire with the DoH ten years ago, and that was great (not least as a method of forcing their youngest child to leave home). But the most senior civil servants and politicians stayed in London.

And I thoroughly agree about the Olympics - yes, let's solve London's transport problems by adding a whole lot of new issues and only some of the money to solve them. I haven't found out how to register my hatred for the bid officially, but have managed to fill in a few yougov polls to that effect.

[uon.livejournal.com]

I haven't found out how to register my hatred for the bid officially

There are quite a few anti-Olympics campaign links, petitions, etc, linked from hack the bid (http://www.hackthebid.org/), but oddly enough I don't think there's going to be an official "No" campaign.

I suppose you could text "Paris" to 82012, but I doubt anyone would notice.

[liadnan]

Yeeees. I read the comments on that page and find myself thinking "a plague on all your houses." Right. Straw, camels back time. Next year I'm moving to the Caucasus to raise goats.
(This comment bought to you with the aid of a large amount of medicinal (pain-killing) scotch.)

[coughingbear]

Hmm, not sure I want to back 'hack the bid' either. Perhaps if the bid's successful they could pay some of us to go on holiday during the Olympics, thus freeing up both accommodation and public transport, and all would be well.