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liadnanI've just returned from the wilds of Hampshire, where it was Really Cold incidentally, and seeing my parents plus Sister2 and sprog. Good weekend, but parents.. really. Why does it take my mother, having already asked whether I'm coming to mass and received the answer from the depths of my duvet of a firm "no", ten minutes to tell me that they now usually leave at 9.30, that is, in ten minutes, and then to ask me to turn on the oven, light the fire, and buy the usual papers before they return? I'm not exaggerating, I had one eye on the clock. K. claims that I am long-winded, but I maintain that this is utterly different, I merely have a lawyer's attention to detail and a historian's concern for context. Anyway, when we were together it was always a cause of concern to me that she and my mother agreed in all details on the manifold ways I was running my life badly.
Dad's no better. I have a specific and pessimistic reason for trying to go down every six weeks or so. It depresses me more than I can express to see the way the man who taught me to read, criticise, think, and appreciate art in all forms has been reduced. For which reason I shall say nothing more about it.
Another Sunday evening in a cold Primrose Hill flat, still awaiting the mythical day of Spring Cleaning (2003)... another Best N Whatevers programme, or A Touch of Frost if you prefer. Which I don't, as Frost can never match up to the insane gibbering that is Midsomer Murders.Oh, I suppose I could watch a documentary about drunk driving, a documentary about Rwanda, or Demolition Man but I think I'll pass on all of those right now, thanks. Since I can't find anythiing I particularly want to read lying around, (and yes, I know I'm behind with my mini-reviews, but "Ive got it writted down on a piece of paper") I'll stick with the Best Ofs... pop stars by singles sales, presented by Smashy and Nicey. And this rather good bottle of whisky.
Mind you, they're banging on about the Everley Brothers, at 42. I wonder if I have any bills lying around I could read... Duran Duran at 41 God help us.
And Wet Wet Wet at 40, what a surprise. Beating Bryan Adams by a significant margin, curiously. The song was much better, of course, although the best cover, I reckon, is the a capella version REM did on MTV unplugged once.
Hang on. Phil Collins is now cool? What twat had that spectacularly crap idea, and what is their address?
Oh, hurrah, Pet Shop Boys. clips from It's a Sin, which is almost relevant to talking about devout Catholic parents, and the absolutely mentalist sets and costumes for the live performances of Go West.... Then Robbie, then Frankie Goes to Hollywood, with only two megahits and one sort of hit, what the hell is going on? I know Two Tribes and Relax were spectacularly huge but surely not enough to beat the Pet Shop Boys' entire career? And yes, I remember talking about the Radio 1 Row on the weekly bus to swimming, not that I knew much about it. Parents weren't keen on Radio 1. I grew up on a diet of 3, 4, Wogan on 2 first thing in the morning, and no TV, which almost certainly explains many of my hangups.
Oh piss off, Adam Ant. Really.
George: do your shirt up and have a decent haircut. Ah well, Wake Me Up, good point.
Some chap I don't recognise, on Madness: "they could never have been... Belgian, really." Wise words.
I really hate The Police. This probably has more to do with some very bad personal associations than with anything else, but frankly they were dull, weren't they? Ad break. Does anyone else think Katie Melhua (sp?) sounds like Cerys Matthews, only not quite so gin-sodden?
Celine Dion. Please not. UB40. Oh stop that Liam, it's not big and it's not clever....
Blondie. Hurrah. God she's still got it, after all these years. Olivia Newton-John had her break with Cliff Richard.. I never knew that?
Slade sold six and a half million singles? Who the hell was responsible for that? Ah well, Boney M did even better.
Status were originally a psychedelia band? You what.
Hang on. This is cheating: George Michael is in on his own account, as well as Wham; the only one to make it into the list both in a band and as a solo artist, apparently.
Yes, I know the BeeGees are the only band to have a number 1 in every decade since 1960. Enough already: people have no taste. Except For Whom the Bell Tolls, possibly. Whitney: I really don't care. Shakin' Stevens: I had completely forgotten his existence. Five talentless bimbos singing crap.. not going there.
Kylie. How on earth does she get away with it? Every five years she sinks out of sight, allows Danni the limelight for a brief space, and comes back with a bang doing something completely different. ...Eleven acts, including Rob bloody Stewart, above the Stones, how did that happen? Not that I really mind Rod, but he doesn't deserve to be this high up.
Bowie. Certainly the man is a great star. But he did the Laughing Gnome. Can anyone's credibility truly recover from something like that?
Wings. God help us.
Abba. "At the time, probably the biggest group in the world. And certainly in Sweden." No offence to the Swedes, but the latter claim isn't much more significant than claiming to be the biggest band in Liechenstein. But the first claim is probably true anyway. Queen of course. Jacko. What's to say? Elton (and he'd be in the top ten even without Candle in the Wind II). Madonna, obviously: I'd been trying to guess who'd be in the last five but for some reason I didn't twig she hadn't been in yet. Elvis..possibly the most overrated musical artist of all time. Sorry, was it wrong to say that? Beatles at 2. Second most overrated.... Paul Gambaccini says "the Beatles became Mission Control of the generation" what the fuck are you on about?
Cliff.
Shoot me now. Nearly 21,000,000 single sales.
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no subject
Date: 2004-02-23 03:04 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-23 03:07 am (UTC)Mull of fucking Kintyre still stays up there with the top three singles of all time you know. Bah.
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Date: 2004-02-23 03:10 am (UTC)My somewhat drunken comment re Wings simply reads:
JET! JET! JET! JET!
I think I may have been punching the air somewhat...
Cheap rosé eh? Groo.
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Date: 2004-02-23 03:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-23 03:22 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-23 03:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-23 04:20 am (UTC)Debbie Harry looks far too much like Madge from Neighbours these days, tragically. I couldn't sleep with her without worrying she was going to scream "Hen.......RYYYYYY" in that 40-Gauloise-a-day voice of hers at any minute. *shudder*.
Don't diss the Spice Girls - they churned out some Quality Pop (tm). You're just bitter because Aqua didn't make the cut.
And Cliff. How?
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Date: 2004-02-23 04:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-23 04:31 am (UTC)This is why I don't believe in speaking to the masses.
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Date: 2004-02-23 04:36 am (UTC)Case in point, U2 only just scraped in in the high 40s, REM were nowhere to be seen. Bet they're weeping. And Jacko probably cares more about Thriller being the best-selling album ever (inasmuch as anything actually impinges on his consciousness these days) than his fairly high ranking here.
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Date: 2004-02-23 04:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-23 05:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-23 05:40 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-23 05:42 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-23 05:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-23 05:45 am (UTC)this coming from the man who thinks Aqua's 'Barbie Girl' is a work of genius? The first two Police albums, esp regatta de Blanc, are fine records. After that they got into Charlie in a big way and their quality control went downhill hence the abomination that was their last album. Which was a great shame cos when they were on one, those fuckers could *play*.
Thinking about it, what is it about musicians and coke? One hint of success and half of Columbia's GDP goes straight up their noses. Makes even the most talentless gobshite (and yes Mr Noel Gallagher I do mean you) think they're song-writing Gods whilst turning out the most turgid self-indulgant wank you've ever heard. If you're gonna do class As either do Smack and have the grace to die young or get into Amphetemines and make some decent records. Oh and stay away from acid cos you end up thinking your Jesus and are, like, totally at one with the universe. Christ, I fucking hate hippies. One day I really must sit down and write the definitive book on the relationship between Class As and rock n roll. When I win the lottery.
no subject
Date: 2004-02-23 07:10 am (UTC)Explain yourself, sir.
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Date: 2004-02-23 07:58 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-23 08:03 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-23 08:06 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-23 08:40 am (UTC)I'll lower my raised eyebrow.
Class As and rock'n'roll...
Date: 2004-02-23 12:25 pm (UTC)Utterly irrelevant to your post...
Date: 2004-02-23 01:19 pm (UTC)WAH!
Please? ASAP?
Re: Utterly irrelevant to your post...
Date: 2004-02-24 03:25 am (UTC)Re: Utterly irrelevant to your post...
Date: 2004-02-24 02:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-05 06:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-05 06:27 pm (UTC)