Unconfirmed Sources report on the White House response to the Ukrainian crisis.

[liadnan]

From Unconfirmed Sources

Unnamed White House Source Wegman (Pudgy) Waterhouse, speaking on the condition that he was totally pissed at this authors use of other Unnamed Sources with names that were very similar to his said, “Okay, okay, I can see where people might see the humor in Bush talking about vote fraud, but it’s important that the Ukrainian People understand something that’s vitally important: we don’t give a lanyo what they think. They’re just a shitty little people in a shitty little country. We’re just looking for something that will get Americans attention away from the fact that we’re gonna postpone elections in Iraq because the whole place is totally out of control.

Speaking on the condition that he was more anonymous than ever before Waterhouse continued, “We see it shaking out this way: A Revolution will make for a few days of great TV, especially since Ukrainian chicks are pretty good looking, all thin and drawn and pale. During the Protest phase we’ll slip in a report that we may delay the Iraq Elections; as soon as people start to notice that one of the main pledges of George Bush’s Campaign is in the toilet we’ll ask Vlad (Russian President Vladimir Putin) to send in troops to quell the uprising. That’ll give us at least a month of television news reports full of dead cute Ukrainian chicks, further distracting Americans from Iraqi Insurgents, Military Deaths, Halliburton and Tom DeLay. By the time the whole thing is over we’ll have solidified our strangle hold on the Bill of Rights and we’ll have Iran in our crosshairs.”

Comments

[kateelizabee.livejournal.com]

I had to scoff when I read the Times snipet that said "America has joined the [EU] in warning of the 'consequences' if the Ukraine's leaders refuse to respect the will of the people over the disputed presidential election."

[dr-lovely.livejournal.com]

Even more sadly, there's not a sniff of the Ukraine in the news here anyway. Have to read about it in the BBC. The Americans have actually decided it's much better just to lie about Iraq anyway, see my recent entry about what is being written in the NY Times.

In fact the New York Post (scum) says:

[dr-lovely.livejournal.com]

Bush final push for peace in Ireland. (!!)

President Bush lent his weight yesterday to a final push for reviving power-sharing in Northern Ireland, telling the province's Protestant leader, Ian Paisley, to do his best to cut a deal with his longtime Catholic enemies.

Bush said that he called Paisley to try to nudge the peace process forward. He said he had sought to get the two sides "to the table to get a deal done, to close the agreement they've been working on for quite a while." The president added that he would do "anything I can do to help to keep the process moving forward."

Re: In fact the New York Post (scum) says:

[(Anonymous)]

www.sorryeverybody.com

I can't believe the stuff that comes out of their mouths either. I'm surprised they don't spontaneously combust or something.

http://www.turnyourbackonbush.org

Anonymous NY'er