Suffer [Not So] Little Children

[liadnan]

So, tomorrow I'm talking to a bunch of Year 12s (whose teacher happens to be one J.) about being a lawyer, specifically being a barrister in private practice.

I have faced judges at most levels of the system now. On occasion those judges have Not Been Nice. On one occasion they were vile. And in most cases, there was someone there whose job was to beat me.

Can anyone explain why, exactly, I'm scared?

Comments

[kittenexploring.livejournal.com]

They might all laugh at you and make fun of you to the other kids.

[liadnan]

Yes, but opposing barristers do that all the time. Judges probably do too.

[nicnac.livejournal.com]

Perhaps you could set up some sort of mock kiddie court, choosing one of them to be the judge, another to be the defendant etc, and act out a simple case (pref not R V Brown). They'll be too busy taking the piss out of each other to insult you.

[liadnan]

I don't think Brown is going to get anywhere near the agenda, somehow.

[tabouli.livejournal.com]

I once faced a room full of sullen, uppity, 50 something classical music teachers in grey suits determined to resent, heckle and walk out of my session because cross-cultural awareness training is pointless politically correct bullshit they only attend because their boss forced them to. I handled them just fine, because (a) I had the element of surprise (I don't give them what they expect: I don't preach, I actually give useful advice and have prepared comebacks for all the usual heckle fodder), and (b) they were all adults, and even though they intended to be disruptive and unpleasant, I knew they would operate within certain parameters of acceptable adult behaviour.

Neither of these things apply to a room full of 16-17 year old boys.

[liadnan]

That's terribly helpful dear.

[ksta.livejournal.com]

watch the episode of greenwing where they chat to some sixth formers. It's great.
Last night.

[liadnan]

Blast. Knew there was something I meant to watch.

[tabouli.livejournal.com]

Hey, you asked if anyone could explain why you're scared... that's why I would be. And I would be. Large groups of teenagers: shudder.

[liadnan]

Fair point, that was what I asked wasn't it?

[tabouli.livejournal.com]

It was. If what you want is Handy Friends List Tips on giving speeches at high schools, you should ask for 'em.

[nicnac.livejournal.com]

Ah - I missed the fact they're teenagers (I had no idea where year 12 was agewise). In that case they'd probably enjoy Brown.

[liadnan]

Bah humbug. Expect it'll be fine really.

[liadnan]

They still aren't going to get it. For one thing I'd have to look it up...
Hmm. Rv. Brown [1992] QB 491; [1994] 1 AC 212...
Ooh I'd forgotten that two members (Slynn and Mustill) of the House of Lords did dissent and actually talk sense "It is inherent in the concept of assault and battery that the the victim does not consent..." No shit sherlock.

They're Lower 6th, in ProperSpeak. So actually thinking seriously about careers. I'm debating whether to tell them that in the 5th year I thought I might go into law, but then ditched the idea for what, 10 years...

[liadnan]

Actually, I got interested enough to want to remind myself why the ECHR agreed with the House of Lords. Health grounds. That was it, yes.

[rparvaaz.livejournal.com]

There is no need to be scared, honestly. Just be your usual self, and they ought to be eating out of your hands/scared of drawing your attention.

[liadnan]

I've always thought you had a strange image of me. Despite having seen me drunk.

[rparvaaz.livejournal.com]

*l*

No, really.You can easily, effortlessly project the image of a mysterious, slightly debauched, [and incredibly intelligent] man. Kids that age are *fascinated* by that concept - and if anyone has the temerity to be disrespectful, just be a slightly more acerbic than usual. That would fit the image and keep them in line. :)

[tabouli.livejournal.com]

I'm sure it will be. When they have guest speakers at secondary schools, there are always teachers supervising who have lots of practice at keeping them in line.

[nicnac.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the images of candle wax and nettles have stayed with me ever since...

My lecturer in Criminal was a bit of a perv and the cases he used all seemed to include sex of one form or another. I vaguely remember one about someone being sodomised by their uncle, who then went on to batter him with a chapati pan. Still, it kept us awake, which was probably the aim.

I'm debating whether to tell them that in the 5th year I thought I might go into law, but then ditched the idea for what, 10 years...

Sure, why not, arm them with all the facts. IMO you probably made the correct choice. 21 isn't necessarily a good age to enter the profession, most people in my year (me included) were too busy partying to give it the commitment it needed to be a success. I still can't understand to this day how I got a 2:1 score in Trusts, as I only attended 20% of the lectures.

What degree did you originally do?

[liadnan]

You weren't, by any chance, taught criminal by Professor G*z*b*k

[liadnan]

I did a history degree at UCL, then postgraduate stuff at Oxford, then worked for the DNB, then got drunk with a friend and wondered what I was going to do with my life one night and as a direct result ended up applying for the City University CPE.

[sshi.livejournal.com]

I feel your pain :> I'm about to go back to standing up in front of snotty 18 and 19 year olds for a living this week, after a summer of dealing with nice, reasonable adults (well, mostly).

Just remember that they haven't a clue, really, and will probably be more interested in what you're wearing...

[atommickbrane.livejournal.com]

Eh year 12s should be okay. Most who turn up will be ther ebecause they're interested, I doubt year 12s would be forced to go to such a thing. Ask their teacher how they are, if ye be worried, I am sure you will be fine!

And probably better at speaking then my last real actual law course where we had a lovely lovely man teaching us... sadly he wasn't very good at actually linking sentences together and we sat through a lot of pauses, but never mind eh?

[ex-quixotick955.livejournal.com]

I agree with her. =o) And like some other people have already pointed out, they're likely there because they are interested in what you have to say. I'm sure you'll do a fabulous job!

[greyarea.livejournal.com]

R v Brown is a brilliant case to look at if you want to kick off a debate - there's so much in there that a lot of people instinctively get their backs up about. The fact it was a circle of gay men, that it was pretty hardcore S&M etc etc - a lot of people who would defend the right to do what they want etc seem to hit a bit of a block over it. It's like a real world reductio ad absurdum.

Oh, and the boring answer is that you're nervous because you've not done it before. How do you think their teacher would feel standing up in court in your place? ;-)

Good luck, anyway!

[nicnac.livejournal.com]

LOL - sounds like a common theme amongst Criminal lecturers. I was taught by Prof Robert Lynn, he of the acerbic Irish wit and deadly aim with chalk targeted at sleeping students.

then worked for the DNB

Thought you meant Dun & Bradstreet at first, then figured it out.

got drunk with a friend and wondered what I was going to do with my life one night

*applause for life changing random behaviour*

[nicnac.livejournal.com]

So what happened? Were you marvellous? Did you shape young hearts and minds?

[liadnan]

Dunno about that, but it went ok. I think.