Royal Mail Trolleys in the Wild, a Study

[liadnan]

About a week ago I was wandering up to the bridge at Primrose Hill, in a daze as ever at around seven on a working day, when I noticed a Royal Mail post cart in the communal carpark of some flats, just short of the bridge. Unsurprisingly I thought no more of it, and continued on my merry way.

A few days ago I saw two of the carts, about three hundred yards further along the way to my flat, again abandoned and empty.

They sat there for a couple of days, occasionally changing position but never moving far. I wondered if someone was making a rather dull artistic statement.

On my way home tonight, I found a third one. Just outside my flat.

I'm scared.

Croydon tomorrow, an application in the High Court on Wednesday and a trial Thursday and Friday. Joy joy.

Comments

[dr-lovely.livejournal.com]

I am not sure what they look like... Are they like shopping carts ? Because whenever I see postmen they have leetle bicycles and a bag, or a van. What is a post cart ?

Perhaps it's "students" ? They climbed over a wall, stole post-office carts 'what a jape, eh Rodrey' and have now abandoned them in hung-over guilt ?

[eccles.livejournal.com]

Any of my mail in them?

[liadnan]

But why are there more and more?
.
They're canvas trolleys on steel frames, in Royal Mail colours. The postmen round here all use them, but to be honest I don't remember ever noticing them until relatively recently

[liadnan]

Nope. Just polystyene food cartons and a used condom.

[ksta.livejournal.com]

im sorry you have to go to croydon.

[liadnan]

You and me both.

[fi.livejournal.com]

Perhaps you are, as they say in the States, going postal.

Oh dear.

[frankie-ecap.livejournal.com]

They're stalking you. Your body will shortly be found, bearing no obvious signs of death but with a bulging-eyed expression of terror that chills even the most seasoned police officer. The only clue will be a Royal Mail Keepsafe leaflet in the corner of the room, with no fingerprints.

I did want to use the phrase 'unless you give in to their demands', but I got stuck on what demands a Royal Mail trolley might make on a barrister. Representation for their bid to be treated like normal members of society, perhaps?

[frankie-ecap.livejournal.com]

I do, of course, mean 'no obvious signs of the method of death'.

no obvious signs of death

[joffstar.livejournal.com]

See, now that really would be an impressive stealth killing... but then that would be just like the Royal Mail to deliver your death two weeks late, wouldn't it?

Re: no obvious signs of death

[frankie-ecap.livejournal.com]

In fact, far more likely that the trolley will be able to kill successfully acting as a rogue agent than that the RM could organise itself to do so.

[nicnac.livejournal.com]

I reckon it's something to do with the sherry....